---
id:
aliases: []
title: The Story of Ymar
tags:
  - authorship/other
  - destiny/permanent
  - exclude-from-word-count
  - status/incomplete
  - topic/hobbies/reading
  - type/media-commentary
description: |
  An excerpt from _The Shadow of the Torturer_, Chapter 17 "The Challenge" by Gene Wolfe,
  with my analysis in comment blocks.
---
# The Story of Ymar

%%
From [[wolfe_1980_shadow#XVII - The Challenge]].
%%

Now I begin again.
It has been a long time
(twice I have heard the guard changed outside my study door)
since I wrote the lines you read only a moment before.
I am not certain it is right to record these scenes,
which perhaps are important only to me,
in so much detail.
I might easily have condensed everything:
I saw a shop and went in;
I was challenged by an officer of the Septentrions;
the shopkeeper sent his sister to help me pluck the poisoned flower.
I have spent weary days in reading the histories of my predecessors,
and they consist of little but such accounts.
For example, of Ymar:

%%
Severian is speaking of his predecessors _to the autarchy_.
Without knowing this, Ymar and "the Autarch" may read as separate characters.
%%

> Disguising himself, he ventured into the countryside,
> where he spied a muni meditating beneath a plane tree.
> The Autarch joined him and sat with his back to the trunk
> until Urth had begun to spurn the sun.
> Troopers bearing an oriflamme galloped past,
> a merchant drove a mule staggering under gold,
> a beautiful woman rode the shoulders of eunuchs,
> and at last a dog trotted through the dust.
> Ymar rose and followed the dog, laughing.

%%
* muni: An inspired or holy man; a sage; an ascetic or hermit.
* oriflamme: A banner or standard.
%%

Supposing this anecdote to be true, how easy it is to explain:
the Autarch had demonstrated that he chose his active life by an act of will,
and not because of the seductions of the world.

%%
Analysis 1:
Ymar ignored the mortal pleasures of glory, wealth, and beauty
~~simply for the sake of it.~~
%%

But Thecla had had many teachers,
each of whom would explain the same fact in a different way.
Here, then, a second teacher might say
that the Autarch was proof against those things that attract common men,
but powerless to control his love of the hunt.

%%
Analysis 2:
Ymar ignored the mortal pleasures of glory, wealth, and beauty
but broke for an equally base indulgence.
%%

And a third, that the Autarch wished to show his contempt for the muni,
who had remained silent when he might have poured forth enlightenment and received more.
That he could not do by leaving when there was none to share the road,
since solitude has great attractions for the wise.
Nor could he when the soldiers passed, nor the merchant with his wealth, nor the woman,
for unenlightened men desire all those things,
and the muni would have thought him one more such man.

%%
Analysis 3:
Ymar ignored the mortal pleasures of glory, wealth, and beauty
to prove to the wise man that he could resist temptation.
%%

And a fourth, that the Autarch accompanied the dog because it went forth alone,
the soldiers having other soldiers,
the merchant his mule and the mule his merchant,
and the woman her slaves;
while the muni did not go forth.

%%
Analysis 4:
Ymar wasn't ignoring the other travelers at all,
only waiting for one to walk with.
%%

Yet why did Ymar laugh? Who shall say?
Did the merchant follow the soldiers to buy their booty?
Did the woman follow the merchant to sell her kisses and her loins?
Was the dog of the hunting kind, or such a short-limbed one
as women keep to bark lest someone fondle them while they sleep?
Who now shall say?
Ymar is dead, and such memories of his
as lived for a time in the blood of his successors
are long faded.

%%
Severian is focused on details irrelevant to the parable.
%%

So mine in time shall fade too.
Of this I feel sure: not one of the explanations for the behavior of Ymar was correct.
The truth, whatever it may have been, was simpler and more subtle.
Of me it might be asked why I accepted the shopkeeper's sister as my companion--
I who in all my life had had no true companion.
And who, reading only of "the shopkeeper's sister,"
would understand why I remained with her after what is,
at this point in my own story, about to happen?
No one, surely.

I have said that I cannot explain my desire for her, and it is true.
I loved her with a love thirsty and desperate.
I felt that we two might commit some act so atrocious
that the world, seeing us, would find it irresistible.

No intellect is needed to see those figures who wait beyond the void of death--
every child is aware of them, blazing with glories dark or bright,
wrapped in authority older than the universe.
They are the stuff of our earliest dreams, as of our dying visions.
Rightly we feel our lives guided by them,
and rightly too we feel how little we matter to them,
the builders of the unimaginable,
the fighters of wars beyond the totality of existence.

The difficulty lies in learning that we ourselves encompass forces equally great.
We say, "I will," and "I will not," and imagine ourselves
(though we obey the orders of some prosaic person every day)
our own masters, when the truth is that our masters are sleeping.
One wakes within us and we are ridden like beasts,
though the rider is but some hitherto unguessed part of ourselves.

Perhaps, indeed, that is the explanation of the story of Ymar.
Who can say?

%%
Analysis 5:
Ymar ignored the other travelers but left with the dog
on a passing interest.
%%
